


I see your mind

by AlexTheShipper



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cuddles, Fluffy Ending, Love, M/M, Sad Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-19 00:39:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2367842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexTheShipper/pseuds/AlexTheShipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The profound bond is more than Dean knows and Castiel is stuck hearing everything the hunter thinks about him. Can he save their friendship and make it more?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I see your mind

Dean didn't know about the profound bond. Not fully, anyway. Castiel knew he should tell him about the thoughts that bled through the connection, but it was embarrassing.

Castiel managed to keep his vessel from human expressions such as blushing, but Dean's mind is filthy and every thought bleeding through had him in various states of undress. Sometimes Castiel couldn't even meet his eyes, and had to focus on Sam. Those sorts of things aren't the ones that really got to him though. Every once in a while he would see one of Dean's “domestic” fantasies, of linked hands and watching the sunset together, of short kisses goodbye and of passionate kisses hello, and he wanted to cry because he wanted it so bad.

  
The year before purgatory had been miserable. There were so many images of betrayal and abandonment and most of the time they stayed around. He showed up when Dean called and through the bond he felt Dean's surprise. Surprise that Castiel could be bothered with him. The knowledge that his hunter still didn't believe he deserved to be saved hurt him.

"Hello Dean." Deans mind always slipped to phone sex when he said that and Castiel couldn't help but find it amusing. He offered the hunter a small smile.

  
"I've missed you." A feeling of disbelief reverberated across the bond.

  
"I've missed you too, Cas." Dean settled on the bed. "How've you been?"  _Were you better off without me? Are you happier up there?_    
Castiel tried to soothe Dean's thoughts.

"Lonely I guess."  
Castiel expected to feel happiness pulsing through the bond but instead found only worry. It was a knee-jerk reaction to push reassurance through the bond  
Dean snapped his head up and looked Castiel straight in the eyes.   _I felt that._

Out loud, Dean said, “You know how I feel, and you didn't say anything."  
Castiel felt rejection swell through the bond, like waves in a storm. He tried to send love and acceptance through the bond, but the dark cloud that was Dean's thoughts was so choking Castiel wouldn't have been surprised if Dean didn't feel it.

  
“I'm sorry you have to listen to that all the time.” Dean said bitterly. “You must get sick of hearing about how much I want you.”

  
Cas shook his head. “I want to hear you. I like it.” The dark cloud of rejection swelled and transformed into pain. It made Cas want to clutch his head in anguish. He glanced up at Dean, blue eyes wide, and couldn't understand how the hunter looked so calm, if a little angry. He felt another thought pulse through the bond, through the cloud of pain.

  _I'm a joke to him. He likes watching me pine for him._

  
“No Dean, that's not it. Of course that's not it. I didn't mean it like that at all. Please, I'm sorry.” He tried to push his feelings through the bond.

  
“You didn't mean you like that I love you, but I'm still just a mud monkey?” Images of all the angels who had spoken to him flashed through his mind.

  
Castiel scowled. “I'm not like that. I'm not like them. I have feelings, and emotions, and Dean I care about you.” Dean begins to relax, and cloud of pain slowly starts to retreat, and Castiel allows himself a glimmer of help. The pain is quickly replaced with denial and Cas' hope replaced with sadness.

  
“I love you, Cas, and you don't love me. Case closed. I know you think you're doing me a favour by lying, but it'll just be more painful in the long run.” Dean ran a hand over his face and sighed.

 

Castiel practically growled as he pushed every emotion he had ever felt for Dean through the bond, through the denial and lingering pain. _Adoration, frustration, need, and love_ all washed over Dean in a comforting blanket of acceptance.

Dean gasped as he grasped for something to hold onto. He looked at Cas suspiciously, as if he still believed it could be a trick, but then smiled, a small, sweet thing.

“Why didn't you say anything?”  
Cas felt his cheeks flush. Perhaps he wasn't as good at controlling his vessel as he thought.

“I- I didn't believe I deserved you, Dean. Especially not after Purgatory.” Castiel sighed and looked at his hands. “I abandoned you, and I'll never forgive myself for that.”

_I forgive you. I just want you to be happy. Please be happy._

  
Castiel glanced up at Dean and smiled.  
“Cas, please, just come here. You can make it up to me.”

  
Castiel obeyed, crawling into Dean's bed hesitantly. He tried (and failed) to avoid thinking of what Dean had said in a sexual manner. Dean chuckled.

“Not today, angel. Come here."

  
Dean sent images of cuddling through the bond and Cas was more than happy to comply. He smiled as he curled up around his human.

  
“You're tired, Dean. Get some sleep.”  
Dean very nearly asked how on earth Cas could know that before chuckling again. He settled against Cas, with their legs tangled together.

  
“I love you.”


End file.
